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anthonyd's picture
96 pencils

60th Independance Day

This year on 15th Aug 2007, We will be celebrating our 60th Independance day (from 15th Aug 1947).

Behind of our independance, there were many soldiers who were fighting to free our country from britishers. This concept is dedicated to them. Especially "Shahid Bhagat singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev)

thanks
anthony

www.flickr.com/photos/anthonydsouza/

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pokie's picture
1198 pencils

I'm not sure why if you are stating your independence that you would use English? That doesn't make sense to me.

anthonyd's picture
96 pencils

but, since english language are being used in our country (India) more than other language, thats why I used english.

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pokie's picture
1198 pencils

Ever the more reason.

Make people proud if they know what it means. Make people find out if they don't know.

anthonyd's picture
96 pencils

ok will do this

thanks

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ipure's picture
160 pencils

what is the six supposed to be? i guess i dont know what the texture is.. it makes me think of popcorn...

GrAcUc79's picture
98 pencils

There is alot of incorrect grammar in your copy.

1. "they called us dirty indian" should be "they called us dirty indianS'

2. "let us tribute those soldier, who sacrifices their life to free our india" should be "let us PAY tribute to THE SOLDIERS who sacrificed their life to free our india"

3. "all the student are requested to conceptualize related to........ should be "all studentS are requested to conceptualize.......

4. "Independance" is spelled incorrect on the bottom (middle row)

You request all students to conceptualize a layout however there are no guidelines or specs to follow. They will have no idea what you mean to conceptualize a layout. Be clearer and state more info on how they are to submit their layout.

As for the design aspect of the piece. As mentioned above that 6 looks funky. it reminds me of a "tye-die" The 0 makes me think of a "noose" which it probably is but that doesn't relate well to your content. Your celebrating independence, why depict an image of a noose. Were the soldiers that you are paying tribute to hung? I don't know the history of India so you may have another reason for the noose but I dont think it works well at all.

mara06's picture
2548 pencils

Actually, #2 above would be "Let us pay tribute to those soldiers who sacrificed their lives to free our India."

The next sentences might read,

Students are requested to provide us with a layout conceptualizing "Celebrating India's 60th Independence Day." Submitted designs will be displayed on all desktops this August 15.

You need to decide about the quotation marks at the top right. Use either single outer quotation marks and double internal ones, which is the British English usage, or the reverse, as in done in the United States.

I also wonder why something so violently nationalistic would be presented in English. In the interest of world peace, I would encourage you to tone it down, projecting respect for Indian culture rather than inciting people to hang the nearest Brit in retaliation for past generations' wrongs, no matter how heinous they were (and they were).

Mara

GrAcUc79's picture
98 pencils

Your right mara I must have missed that. "sacrificed their lives" is correct.

mara06's picture
2548 pencils

Hey -- NOBODY gets out alive when I whip out my red pencil! You caught all the important stuff, though.

Mara

tlarson2k's picture
66 pencils

I think there may be too many colors going on in this ad. I get that you're using national colors, but the gradient used for the words, "Independence Day" -- it's a wee bit cliche and makes this seem more like a party celebration as opposed to something that could be seen as more serious in nature.

The texture in the number "6" is ambiguous and reminds me of candy. I'd stick to a non-textured letterform and concentrate on the rope as the focal graphic. However, that said, why a rope that looks like a noose? I can understand bondage, but the way it's hanging from the top of the ad, it just reminds me of a hangman's noose, which can be seen as both violent (appropriate, if a bit morbid) or suicidal (which I think is not what you're going for).

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