Atmosphere: Scapegoat
mikelufholm (95 pencils) | Sat, 2012-10-13 03:52just for fun, any feedback would be greatly appreciated
Commenting on this Image will be automatically closed on December 8, 2012.
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neat idea. but the execution is kind of clumsy. looks like student work
What to you mean by "execution is kind of clumsy"? Elaborate? Also, I am a pretty inexperienced designer an haven't done much with illustrator til very recently so that may explain the "student look" to it :-)
"clumsy" = doesnt indicate a confident command of the tool. which would also be symptomatic of "student work"
neither of those make the piece bad. for all i know, that may have been your intent. but generally, an experienced viewer can tell the difference between intentionally-basic and an under-confident execution.
one of the give-aways, is the higher degree of detail in the face and hair, then general flattness of and lack of attention to the clothing. i got slammed for the same thing in an illustration class in college back in like 1989. i had done this really nice portrait. the subjects face was near photo realistic. but i just flat-blacked the dark colored clothing. my instructor told me i just concentrated on the fun part.
he was right.
Not sure what the message is here - but the text half might be more effective if you used different fonts appropriate to each term.
Maybe.
i think thats supposed to represent a tag-cloud, art. those are generally illustrated with the same font but different sizes or weights
The horizontal/ vertical scaling is killing my eyes. It's an option that needs to be removed dammit! It's so rarely used right :(
good pint zm. i think the OP needs to investigate tag clouds and rework things a bit...
Is it a tag cloud or just one of those conglomerations of text like you see on the cover of Esquire these days? Tag clouds are the same font - they only vary in size, don't they? Not style (italics, bold, etc...) and horizontal/vertical scaling.
hmmm... could be. but my first impression was tag cloud.
but yeah, you're right. generally just size. and as we all have said more than once - you should almost NEVER skew, or disproportionately scale type!
which once again indicates "clumsy, student work"
Thanks for the feedback. You're absolutely correct about putting in much more time on the face and rushing the rest of it. I will keep that in mind in the future. I think the same thing happened when I got to the text. I just got sick of it and rushed it. The tedious stuff always gets me!
Basically this just an illustration of a local Minnesota hip-hop artist named Atmosphere and the text is lyrics from his song Scapegoat. The song goes, "it's the caffeine, the nicotine, the mg of tar. It's my habitat it needs to be cleaned..." basically the song just keeps repeating "it's the..." lines.
having background info about the piece always helps us judge in context. next time, your last comment should be part of the initial post.
its not a bad piece. and the concept is sound. just needs more crafting.