I thought that this was funny. . .
ireid (1283 pencils) | Wed, 2008-07-23 00:13and mildly disturbing . . . I got this off a Monster.com job listing. Check it out (my comments in brackets my citations and emphases:
"Junior Graphic Design/ Marketing Assistant, St alban. £18,000
Local company seek candidate who is fully competent in all leading dt (?) packages and MS applications (!). Must have fast, accurate keyboard skills with excellent grammar and spelling plus the ability to manage and update several damasse (what?) including the cr (?) system. The successful candidate must be prepared to work in a hectic customer-orientated environment and be able to work well under pressure and to tight deadlines.
6 - 12 months experience working in a Design/Marketing environment would be preferable but not essential.
Key Responsibilities:
Full responsibility and ownership for all dt projects using Quark Xpress, (and the clincher) phosphate & Illustrator
Management of all marketing damasse
Be familiar with image scanning and print reproduction process (?)
Create and maintain full graphics/imagery datable (?)
General marketing administration (?)
Have a creative mind coupled with solid design skills (with MS applications??)
Well orderings approach
Project management skills
Knowledge of or a strong interest in the PC/IT industry
Exceptional eye for detail and accuracy essential."
And the sad thing, someone will apply for this job (lol maybe me) and GET THROUGH! I wonder what working at this place would be like, I shudder to think. Anyways just wanted people to see what's being bandied about on the job vacancy boards! lol
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
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Phosphate. Too phunny! Wonder if it comes with plugins?
P.S. Let us know if you land the position. HA!
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
— Frank Zappa
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
Adobe Sulfur. Great animation program. :)
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Powerpoint is not a design application
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Dirt and Rust
That is pretty funny- i wonder if they were using spell check and not really paying much attention to what it was fixing.
I had a co-worker tell me he saw a "graphic artist" position listed somewhere where their necessary skills were Powerpoint!
Oh. My. God. :)
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Powerpoint is not a design application
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Dirt and Rust
I had an interview recently set up for a local ad agency (recently cancelled due to position being "on hold.") and when the recruiter called me, she said that the position is mostly PowerPoint presentations.
Ugh!!!! WTF did I bust my tush in college for? PP presentations??? F#@K!!!!
suzanne maestri-walters :: graphic designer :: www.onegirlcreative.com
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"I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint." ~ Frida Kahlo
www.onegirlcreative.com
Years ago, when we still had film and film strippers, my employer posted this ad:
"WANTED. STRIPPER. TOP WAGES. APPLY IN PERSON. ..then the address listing."
My boss hadn't specified FILM stripper. Interesting group of interviewees...
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
— Frank Zappa
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
on those interviews!! It would have been VERY unprofessional and perverse BUT one could always say later: "That was the BEST interview EVER!" lol Interviews can be very tiring sometimes and very boring too. . . :P
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
Oh, I'm pretty positive any flesh and blood male would have appreciated the ladies that came by. And the men, albeit a little on the greasy side, weren't too hard on the eyes either!
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
— Frank Zappa
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
Did you have them show you their "portfolios"? ;)
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Powerpoint is not a design application
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Dirt and Rust
Sadly, no. That was up to my boss to tread through those peroxide-dyed, body-shaven waters. But I did hear through the grapevine that he'd been interested in a couple of their spreads. :)
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
— Frank Zappa
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
*huuuuuuuuuurrrrllllll hurrrrrrllllllllllll"
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
*huuuuuuuuuuuuuurl*
LOL
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
If so, you're on the edge!
The Construct Agency
Building Creative Brands for People
Hilarious.
The thing is, is that I could actually see microsoft producing a promo vid like that!
"Can you make the lines thinner?"
"Uhhh. . .no."
"Ummm ok. . ."
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
Love beginning the work day with a laugh. Thanks for sharing, Mint!
Now...where can we purchase this cutting-edge technology! :)
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
— Frank Zappa
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
But say what. Still funny. After looking at that clip I was reminded of a client who LOVED to work over the shoulder, as it were, and kept nudging things like lines and stuff around. Move this 1 mm up and move that 2 mm down. . . annoying esp since he USED to come in VERY late and nitpick over these 'important' alterations! lol Any hoo one of our artists got fed up and in illustrator you can set the nudge setting to point increments, so he set his to '0'. When this client came in a few days later he said "Ok move that line 1 mm up." so the artist pressed the nudge key a couple of times. . . OBVIOUSLY nothing happened and the client went, "Wow! Nice! see that made a BIG difference, don't you think?"
We nearly died laughing at that one!
BTW he ALSO used to ask for "half a point bigger" on the font size! LOL funny stuff!
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
Is this video a joke??? OMG.
suzanne maestri-walters :: graphic designer :: www.onegirlcreative.com
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"I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint." ~ Frida Kahlo
www.onegirlcreative.com
on hilarious graphic design employment ads. OMG. What fun! I bet we would come up with some doozies!!!
suzanne maestri-walters :: graphic designer :: www.onegirlcreative.com
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"I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint." ~ Frida Kahlo
www.onegirlcreative.com
Haven't seen you in a while! Whats been goin on?
"Try not, Do! or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda
That makes me feel so wanted. Thanks!!!
Nothing really. Still job hunting, unfortunately. But working on other endeavors which allow me to work from home (not just the GD gig).
I've missed it here!
suzanne maestri-walters :: graphic designer :: www.onegirlcreative.com
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"I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint." ~ Frida Kahlo
www.onegirlcreative.com