JamJar Juice- Jampacked!

Sorry? Concept? It's just direct information on space to me. Technically it looks ok, but it's not appealing. Try to think away from rectangles and the obvious (photo here, text here, logo here, etc)

ok as you told on brief, the photo needs improvements to don't copy paste fruits and reproduce the emboss effect :)

as jackmancer said, we want something more than a simply fruits inside a jar(?).

Stef, I like the logo concept, I would use something other than a black font, though, to make it friendlier and more appealing to the taste, if you feel me on that one.

I'm also not getting that it's a jar on the left, if that's what you were going for. Maybe a beautiful piece of refreshing fruit being forced into a clean jar with clean and, ahem, refreshing water.

The text in the shape of a jar took me an enlarge to realize what it was. I'm not saying that just b/c there is space you should use it all, but you do have more room.

The headline should pop more, right now I go from the berries on the left then directly to the logo. It should be dark on the white, IMO.

You got skillz, girl! I like your work.

j

This is boring. You have about 10 seconds to attract my attention with this ad before I flip the page. The logo looks nice but I agree I would not use black for the font on the logo.

Also as noted there *is* no concept.

Exactly. That was my point on those horrid Ace Hardware ads - nobody is going to stop to look at those. Don't be so full of yourself that you think people will pay attention just because you're an "artiste" and therefore your work deserves attention. When it comes to advertising - you have to GRAB the viewer's attention. Don't expect it - EARN it.

That said, I don't think this ad is as bad as everyone else does (apparently). It looks more like an editorial page though - the two page intro to a magazine article or something. This is missing some zing, but there are a couple things you could try - like making the shadow behind the headline bright red, increasing the logo size just a smidge and maybe a loose strawberry laying on the right hand page somewhere. Also believe the header and the body needs to move down some - and why is the body odd shaped? Make it a rectangle - the top two lines looks like a mistake to me. The left page photo also needs some ooomph - but you mentioned that yourself.

Squish a real strawberry into the fold. Add a scent strip. Include a sachet of juice. Pay someone to dress up like a strawberry, pop-up and dance when you turn the page. Where's the music. Seriously though:

My mouth should be watery, not your juice. I suggest better strawberry images. Go to Stock Xchng. They have a ton of nice images - I personally have some great strawberry images up there you could use.

You need more life in here. The title font looks blah. Fill the page with colour. If your "client" is going to be paying for a 2 page spread those 2 pages need to work for their money. Why are you afraid to place text over the image? (Well, with this image I understand, but another?) How about a macro closeup of a strawberry with tiny people standing on it, with straws stuck into it, and sucking the juice right out of the strawberry? Yummy "Straw"berry!

As noted above, lose the bobbing berries...they're harming the ad.

Have the jarred copy shape running the full spectrum of the double-page spread. Make the reader turn the magazine sideways to read it...annoying in most cases, but here I think it would work to pique reader curiousity. Then add in Art's single wet strawberry pooling in the bottom right-hand corner near the logo. Then work on the rest of the text...even have a call out label on the jarred text for the important info to stand out. Try adding in more colour to lose the sterility of the overall look, etc....

The title knocked out with a drop shadow is not good. Try a simple clean red.