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Earl_Designs's picture
59 pencils

Marios Pizza

Earl_Designs (59 pencils) | Wed, 2012-01-04 00:05

Ad I did for mario's Pizza and I wanted you guys to to critique it.

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Earl Designs | Caricatures | Personalized Baby Pacifiers

Commenting on this Image is closed.

Hof's picture
129 pencils
Hof | Wed, 2012-01-04 09:40

the xmas lights and text effects aren't necessary. beveled, stroked with drop shadow seriously? i like the illustration though.

qwertyale's picture
1835 pencils
qwertyale | Wed, 2012-01-04 14:34

the steam is strange... it could come to left and spread to reader's perspective.

the type Santa is too much cliche or you could modify to be more stronger.

the Santa character is great.

the text could be shorter and you could put a wood fires drying illustration.

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yes I'm brazilian xD

wgzn's picture
1711 pencils
wgzn | Wed, 2012-01-04 15:30

overall ok. and the santa guy is nice. did you illustrate that?

id find a better pizza pic. this one looks strangely flat...

but that copy - HORRIBLE! i dont want my stomach to CRY. EVER, for ANY reason - even if it IS with DELIGHT! and it's too long, id break it up into sections. maybe making the invitation part at the end bigger or bolder.

overall, respectable job. just needs some tweaks

gwells's picture
1711 pencils
gwells | Wed, 2012-01-04 20:27

generally good. cute idea.

i'm with wgzn that the body copy looks bad. the word spacing looks terrible. that's a side product of fully-justified text, but you have to adjust things (even with copy editing, if possible) so that your word spacing isn't awful.

santa's legs are disappearing against the floor background. and i'd do something different with the extra two arms that are denoting motion.

fix the kerning in the phone number (look at how the hyphens line up).

Art D. Rector's picture
2772 pencils
Art D. Rector | Thu, 2012-01-05 05:44

Same as the others - I see a lot of little things. Qwerty has an idea with the oven - the red area behind Santa is almost the same shape as a brick pizza oven - that would give you a little contrast with Santa's red suit. It could use a stronger headline which would solve the steam problem. My preference would be the phone number after the address. Justified text is for newspapers, books and newsletters - try to avoid it in ads.

Little tip for pizza lovers... it looks "authentic" when you see someone tossing a pizza, but it's actually not good for the pie. A more even crust is created by tossing the dough back and forth between your hands instead.

gwells's picture
1711 pencils
gwells | Thu, 2012-01-05 16:01

not to mention the fact that you only toss the dough, not the finished pie. that didn't dawn on me until reading your comment.

mara06's picture
2548 pencils
mara06 | Sat, 2012-01-07 04:04

Oops. Hit send too fast on this. See below.

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Mara

mara06's picture
2548 pencils
mara06 | Thu, 2012-01-05 23:45

Hey -- good catch, Greg.

My main takeaway from this ad is that the steam is just bizarre. I don't recall ever having seen visible cloudy steam rising in a column from the middle of a pizza. That added to the fact that it makes the overly filtered display type even harder to read says "drop it."

Some of the text weird -- "your stomach will cry"??? Euw. Just...no. And everybody's right about losing the justification. To be friendly and accessible, always run your text blocks ragged right -- but in Hebrew, Russian, etc., I guess that would be ragged left.

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Mara

mrcoupon's picture
349 pencils
mrcoupon | Fri, 2012-01-06 15:26

This ad is DYING for a few coupons, seal the deal.

You're dividing up the background with that checkerboard pattern AND the X-Mas lights, you don't need both.

Earl_Designs's picture
59 pencils
Earl_Designs | Fri, 2012-01-06 23:32

Thanks for the critique will make some of the changes you guys suggested and post the updated changes.

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Earl Designs | Caricatures | Personalized Baby Pacifiers

Earl_Designs's picture
59 pencils
Earl_Designs | Wed, 2012-01-25 21:58

Just found out that the Ad won Best Resturant Ad for Metro Creative Graphics, Inc.'s Best Use of Santa Ad Contest.

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Earl Designs | Caricatures | Personalized Baby Pacifiers

Art D. Rector's picture
2772 pencils
Art D. Rector | Thu, 2012-01-26 19:49

Awesome resume addition - congrats.

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