My Personal Website *UPDATE*

Not a bad start... I took a look at the site, and I like the cleanness of the layout. I like the use of CMYK+white for the color scheme, but compositionaly the concentration of color in the corner of the screen seems a bit unbalanced. Maybe make the words smaller and spread the color around the screen?

Some notes on site content... It feels a bit amateurish in its language. In your about page you say "by coming to this website you already have recognized good design, and obviously want to reflect it in your own identity." I read this and was instantly turned off. That statement is aggressive and arrogant and harsh. I understand you want to convey confidence and self-promote, but if I were a prospective client I'd have read that and taken my business elsewhere on those words alone.

Tone it down... show what you can offer, not tell how big of a deal you are.

The reference to horse racing is out of place. If I said "I've been racing cars all my life, so I know about design" it would sound ridiculous; dump it. Also, shout outs to family, no matter how supportive, are not appropriate for a business page.

Your portfolio page is okay, but it shows items in the first page that you never see later. Is that even work that you've done? If you need to give people written instructions on how to navigate a website, you've designed a poor site. Instead of telling them what to click on, integrate it into the frame instead of below it, and label it "next." Your captions for the examples are too wordy. The Spartan logo isn't bad, but no need to explain your creative process. Also, don't need to know how special it is in your heart... again, amateurish language.

Oh, and this is what a case study is:http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/case+study

What you're showing are examples.

In conclusion... You're on track with the simple, clean layout. BUT edit your language so it sounds less like a MySpace page and more like a business. Remember, this is design; talk less, show more. And one last thing... your logo is weak. I can't tell if that's a W or an N, and is that a J a P a D or a lowercase B? It also doesn't match the visual tone of the site. Get rid of it and start over.

Madonna will not aprove this.

too much helvetica for my lemon tree, you stressed him.

hate "i" kerning

suggestions? maybe can add physics by programming...

Sorry but not working...even worst than befor :L

Hi, ranamaju
"Worst than before"? you prefer the previous colors? All I've changed is the colors so far.

I really appreciate the tips gnasm, I consider myself a writer by no means so that really helps. I'll re-write it tonight.

Thanks again=)

The kerning on those subheads is ridiculous. This from a guy who loves his text TIGHT. It looks like you used tracking which sucks when it comes to web programs. Either loosen it up or - even better - make graphics of the subheads so you can kern them precisely.

Also don't like that you have to navigate thru the portfolio and then navigate back the same way. There needs to be a HOME option - especially when you start adding more pieces. I didn't like going back thru 3 items - imagine 10.

Drop the personal logo. It doesn't work. That J is a disaster.

The thing about minimalistic design is that you need to finetune it. With so little elements, they need to be spot on. Space your characters and come up with colours that make sense. You know, picking the right colours isn't something to be rushed. You only got a few, so pick them carefully. If it takes you hours to tweak them, take hours.

5th line starts with 'dios'
6th line starts with 'ton'
this needs correcting.

If you zoom out your text is gibberish, if viewed at natural zoom you only get half the story.

CMYK is a very obvious colour scheme, but I have seen it used to good effect before.

'allot' is two words 'a lot'

I think in order to make this concept work you are going to need one hell of a copywriter.

Somehow it needs to work from a netbook to a high res lcd display. getting that text to flow right is critical. If you can.

previous effort was better

Quite honestly I'm thinking reboot at this point. All the tweaking that needs to be done and for what? A site that's not going to be very impressive in the end.

I'd reconsider the whole idea.

another thing that puts me off - but is kind of a moot point since you already bought the domain - is when a single freelancer calls themselves "_xyz_ studios"

since usually their "studio" is their guest room and its as often not plural. so it just reeks of trying to sound bigger than you are...