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icklebutt's picture
50 pencils

Newsletter

This is a newsletter promoting new products for the company I work for. Attached is the full version pdf. Anyone have suggestions to make this piece a little more interesting. Do you think the water effect is tacky? Let me know, I need all the help I can get.

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icklebutt's picture
50 pencils

if you happen to click on the link is this pdf, please don't associate it directly with this piece. Someone else does the web work, I am only resposible for our printed materials. I had to throw that out there.

nerdunit's picture
64 pencils

Hey ickle* - I don't care for the intro type ..check out these...* Maybe some more applicable copy can be used in relation to the product itself and its benefits for the potential (s)(potentials) heh. Will the ad (medium mag im assuming) be coated?, the blues are a little dull otherwise. Overall i like the inviting softness, I think you can get away with the water effect although I agree its tacky, its significance is minute in comparison to the whole piece per se. Im not crazy about all of that copy with the picture above it. People don't like to read. Some playful/cognitive structure might help you with ideas too, these products are for people who can afford lots of money to feel therepuetically inclined. yea know =]

camerondaft's picture
11 pencils

i would try to shrink (at least slightly) the two upper right photos on this page, and the large massage table, to let things breathe a bit more...
pay more attention to alignment...those two photos should align on the right side...maybe get rid of all the extra blue elements, this might make it look less crowded...white space is good. good start though...(if you're attached to the blue...make it smaller and more transparent)

icklebutt's picture
50 pencils

whoops, "check out these" I just threw in there for a filler headline (I must have forgotten to change it along with the body copy greeking). This isn't an ad, the final output will be a emailable pdf newsletter for our equipment dealers. Maybe I could throw in a pull quote to break up the too much copy to read business.

Thanks also for the layout comments. I'll post a revision after cleaning up some of the images and creating more white space.

Thanks again for all the feedback. Anyone have suggestions on the other pages? There is a pdf to look through all 4 pages if you're feeling ambitious.
~ickle

jonathanmortimer's picture
45 pencils

You could do with a bit more space between the end of one paragraph and the start of another, perhaps make the large image slightly smaller so that it doesn't encroach on the two smaller ones so much, and use a slightly lighter blue to make the text more readable over it.

The image in the text has a large white space under it, perhaps that could be shuffled upwards a bit or something to negate that effect.

In general I think it needs better vertical alignment too, you seem to have bits sticking out all over the place. Using bleeds and overflowing into the margins is OK but you seem to have taken it a bit too far, the heading would probably benefit from being shorter anyway.

Those are my initial reactions anyway :-)

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