This is a logo for oldvolksshop.
They buy and service old volkswagens and need a old-school logo.
They needed a logo that as wel is a sticker to put on the old volkswagens.
The red color is a old-brown-reddish collor and non the warm red as on screen
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the web address will be too small on window stickers,
Your kerning is all wrong,
Allow the letters to breath, it will become much easier to read.
keep your outline equal all the way round,
There is something that reminds me of old school trainers(sneakers) here,
The underline needs to run in line with the text, this looks awkward.
16 billion colours and you choose the one i cant create !??!
First thing I'd suggest is studying Volkswagen's identity and typography over the years - they are known for quite clean, clear and witty work, at least for the last 40 years or so, so your logo may not be inline with the audience's expectations.
Focussing on your mock-up: at the moment you are trying to use an electronic typeface as a hand-lettered/human-drawn sign. This won't work. I'd suggest either sticking to the strengths of electronic type or hand drawing it.
To make it easier on yourself, and readers, how about just keeping the shop name in script and making the strap-line something a little more legible and clean. This wouldn't be out of keeping with the badge/sign type that you are trying to re-create here - though my initial point stands: is this the right badge to appeal to the audience?
(also: shame it's not called 'old volks home' - that could be far more fun!)
I see where you are going with this, it kind of reminds me of one of those embroidered badges, sewn onto workshirts in garages. If thats the style you are going for you have made a good start, but it needs quite a bit of work.
Shrink 'Old Volks Shop' 15% smaller to bring it in from the edges. And do something with the K, it could read 'le' at present
Set all header text in the same size, and don't distort.
Tail: make it work with the main header, it looks disjointed amd is making your P look like an R
Strapline: Use a cleaner font (non script) and make bigger
Website: Lose it from the logo.
Then lets have another look.
living on dreams and custard creams.
What they said. Also don't be so concerned with cramming it into the oval shape - that's wreaking havoc on the letterforms. Either reduce it down enough to fit comfortably inside, or let it hang over the oval shape naturally.
But - in general - I think there has to be a better idea than this.
I agree with monkey's comments, but I still wouldn't stick that thing on a VW...a '57 Chevy Bel Air yeah...but not a bug or a dune buggy or a Carmen Ghia (my next toy!!!).
Think legible retro and start plugging away at doodles. Have fun...VW's mature riders like funk.
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
Old Volks Shop? Old People Shop.. WHY that name?
Mixing Deutch with Englisch?
No. Brush Script. NO.