Here's the second of three. Same deal as the last.
Leaky Penny
Check out what I've been up to lately!
http://petersonjoseph.com
I'm going to print it out and eat it.
-Unknown Artist
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My turtle looks retarded. Just sayin'.
Leaky Penny
Check out what I've been up to lately!
http://petersonjoseph.com
I'm going to print it out and eat it.
-Unknown Artist
It also has no face. Looks a bit strange without the beak/nostrils.
I don't think he looks retarded, perhaps like he has just been zapped by with a magic spell but I don't think that's a bad thing.
I think the characters you've created look great, but I think you know that. The footer is difficult to read and hurts my eyes to look at, I'm not sure how you could fix this, maybe change the font and make it a bit bigger?
No amount of technology can save a bad idea.
Definitely a fun concept - perfect for a pet store. The one thing that could use some attention, in my opinion, is hierarchy. The illustrations are really nice but would garner even more attention if they were bigger. Definitely try increasing the size, almost take it to the edge of the page. The store name and tagline looks fine but the other type needs work. The font used for "Coming soon to Mississauga!" has too sharp of edges to give it a stroke. I'd lose the white stroke and up the size a couple points. There should be an obvious difference in size between "coming soon to Mississauga!" and "1310 Dundas Street East."
A few tweaks and these will be really nice, in my opinion.
If it doesn't sell, it isn't creative.
+1 - I think they could be bigger too, although not out to the edges. The bottom two lines and the store name could be moved down some (reduced leading on the address lines also). Then enlarge the turtle maybe 120-125%
And the outlines are problematic too. Seems like everyone is commenting on that. My suggestion would be to use the bottom outlines as the comparison sample for the store name. The white inside letters in the store name are not carrying the same weight as the black letters in the bottom text. See what I'm saying? I think the store name needs bolder white insides AND larger strokes to carry that idea.
Taking the advice you guys gave me, I came up with this:
Got rid of the outlines, and the text is way more legible. Made the turtle slightly bigger, and even have him slightly bleeding of the page. I was thinking of redrawing him to have more bleed off but we'll see how I'm doing with time tomorrow.
Played with the font sizes so theres a little more hierarchy, but I think I can exagerate size differences more.
Added bonus: Leopard print on the business name. Don't ask why, thought it was fun.
Leaky Penny
Check out what I've been up to lately!
http://petersonjoseph.com
I'm going to print it out and eat it.
-Unknown Artist
Not way more legible at all, just hard to read in a different way. Not seeing the leopard (I thought it was cheetah in the last post) as any sort of bonus. Leopard (or cheetah) print equal tacky clothing for over-tanned Jersey Shore or Real Housewives type. Also, super cliche.
Ahhhh, you had to rain on my leopard-printed dreams. You're right, it is super clichéd.
Leaky Penny
Check out what I've been up to lately!
http://petersonjoseph.com
I'm going to print it out and eat it.
-Unknown Artist
You could always try cheetah.
i agree with gnasm. the changes on both arent better. just different...
i really hate to see your really, REALLY nice illustrations done in by this messy, overly-novel type treatment : (
Your problem with the leopard type is black spots + black stroke. If you made the spots brown, the stroke would stand on its own and be much more legible.
my problem with the leopard spots is also, that i dont associate leopards with pet stores...
I thought the outlines just needed adjustment - not total removal.
+ 10 and a ditto from me.
Ehh, I tried something out. it didn't work I guess. In the next version I'll be dropping the leopard print and bring back the stroke.
Leaky Penny
Check out what I've been up to lately!
http://petersonjoseph.com
I'm going to print it out and eat it.
-Unknown Artist
nice work i like this one :d