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Emack's picture
52 pencils

(revision)

Emack (52 pencils) | Fri, 2008-09-05 22:45

Agreeing with Natobasso, first comp was a bit cluttered. Hopefully this is a little bit more focused.

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alissa's picture
65 pencils
alissa | Sat, 2008-09-06 04:38

I like how the copy is right to the point—it makes a good impact. I would change the "wed" to "we'd" or "we would." At first I thought you were referring to wednesday, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I should probably sleep ; )
Love the design—if I saw it in a magazine, it would grab me!

natobasso's picture
3953 pencils
natobasso | Sat, 2008-09-06 06:05

Definitely better! Maybe make the headline a bit bigger and ur done.

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Natobasso
dirtandrust.com
"Powerpoint is not a design application"

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Dirt and Rust

Ivan's picture
Ivan | Sat, 2008-09-06 15:00

If you want to be modest about the box, don't highlight it with a star. Make the mountain more stark and scary. Do not repeat the same thing in the tagline.

plugz's picture
1244 pencils
plugz | Wed, 2008-09-24 03:43

This communicates nothing to me at all.
What is special about the product?
How does it out do rivals?
If I'm on a trek up K2 how heavy is it, what does it add to what I have to carry?
What does it actually do?

Also does it really have to be an 'ugly yellow box'? if you're going for the winter crowd and extreme sports they are quire fashion conscious, sure it's reverse psychology but it may be a bit too discrete if that's your target.

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www.jamnittygritty.com

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