I like the ads white spacing. I don't like the term upset. Its not positive in any shape or fashion except if the client was in the entertainment industry. There are no details in which this ad was conceived either. Where will it be displayed? Why is Save the childrens mark hidden in a paragraph of words 5% of people will read?
Its a decent start. Leave the in-laws out of this ;)
The idea is great but i could think of some improvements. Personally I don't like the font of the "cut along" part. Also the text in the black box seems a bit blurry but that could also be the JPG compression. You could try the same ad but the header and the pic some higher. Than use the lower 1/6th on the full width for what is now in the black box. The black box refers too much to an anti smoke campaign to me like the way it is now. I tried something here: www.leunk.com/leunk/example.pdf
10 secs work, default fonts. I think that to resemble the innocent of the childs i would use gray shades and clear fonts.
If i look on the website i see a different corperate image than your poster. Perhaps you could use the red blocks? Good luck!
I'll give you credit for the use of white space and the provocative approach but honestly, the concept is dramatically flawed.
"Upset your grandparents" — Are you are implying that a black baby would offend your GP's traditional values; that is to say that they are Racist! Oh no wait, you don't actually have to adopt the baby to upset them. You can just " Keep a picture in your wallet".
As a parent of two (white) kids I have to say you are missing the point. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. interview some parent that are attempting to adopt. Follow them through the struggle of the interview process. Listen to their stories of traveling abroad to meet their child for the first time. Of holding their new baby. Making a new family.
This isn't about 'upsetting'. This is about the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate reward.
Content: The premise of this ad is that black African babies aren't being adopted because of racism. Stand up (& be politically incorrect) to your parent's racism. The statement is African babies aren't being adopted because your culture says racism is politically correct.
Since when does this type of negative stereotyping promote a positive and loving action toward adopting a child or soliciting a donation?
Offend and insult is suppose to promote a charitable response?
This kind of promotion would do much more harm than good to Save The Children.
Graphics: Uninspired, no balance, awkward placement of text. The primary 'call to action' -- the website info -- is buried and is pushed off the page. Four different typefaces in this one ad?
This ad is quite offensive to me. I would never consider using this orginzation and I would consider adoption. This ad is telling me that it's not about the child. Not about the plight they are in and how I could help to make a better life. It is telling me how I could screw with my obviously racist family. And maybe grandpa will even end up in the hospital! Whoopee!
The design is not bad overall. Type needs a lot of work and I would justify the head left to give it a side-to-side balance. But the design is the least of your concerns. Scratch the copy and start over.
First, let me start by saying that stirring this type of emotion motivates me (even if all these negative emotions aren't good for this particular client).
Second, let me thank Jazzper for his insight...Thanks, Jazzper.
Third, let me address Franclin and Gary W who think this ad is for actually adopting a baby...it's not. It's for sponsoring a baby, I believe the body copy is quite clear on that.
Fourth, for everybody who thought this was offensive, i think you are being a little too sensitive. THe whole point of this ad was to be offensive and then exhibit an international phenomena that actually (and tangibly) IS a thousand-times more offensive. Perhaps this ad is a little too post-modern: If this ad somehow offends you (Gary, Jennifer), think how trivial your sensitivity is compared to the starving, orphaned babies in Africa. You concentrated too much on politically incorrectness instead of the plight of the under-privileged...YOU CARRIED OUT THE SAME IGNORANCE AS THE REST OF THE WORLD WHEN YOU IGNORED THE KIDS BECAUSE EXPRESSING YOUR IDEA OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
But I don't blame you. Perhaps if I had made the copy bigger....
As for you Gary, "Know your audience"...this ad is meant for young people (18-30) who have never donated anything before. I know it's trite but a photograph of a baby you are sponsoring IS a motivating factor. Hasn't anybody been over to a friend's house and seen a photo of an African or South American child on the fridge before? That's what white people that sponsor kids do....display the photo. Gary, show the ad to your "two white kids" and see what they think...they are probably more the desired demographic and might approach the ad more objectively (they might even think it's funny...GASP!)
Again, could I be way wrong and offend people even more with this explanation? Perhaps. But not as offensive as the international abandonment of 12 million African children orphaned by AIDS.
KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING...I AM INTERESTED TO SEE WHAT OTHERS THINK
First, I think much of what you just replied to is directed to Franclin's comments, not what I said.
Read what I said, I specifically addressed your headline statement and the purpose you intended -- charitable donations.
Also, I'm not personally offended, but my critique stated clearly that you were offending the people you're asking to assist the Charity.
In reply, what I concentrated on is the lack of clear communication in your ad. You pull out a red herring of cultural racism, but fail to communicate the need for supporting the Charity to help AIDS orphans.
FWIW, when you reply to my objective critique with "YOU CARRIED OUT THE SAME IGNORANCE..." , well then don't ask for a critique if you feel your work is so precious. As a professional I'll respect your opinion on design and concept, but if you somehow feel your message is being misunderstood by all that replied here, don't bother to enlighten us. The point is, please understand, that the ad you presented here does not clearly communicate what you are so passionate about. As a critique board, that's what I'm reading that other's agree with also.
If this is an actual job for Save The Children, please let us know how your client responds to this. If this is a student/portfolio piece, don't you think four of five responses here are an indication how sucessful this version of your 'post-modern' work communicates and how a potential client may view it?
Simply, my message didn't get through! I just thought when people said "I was offended" they were ignoring the ad as a whole.
However, now I know that the execution of my ad is offensive...maybe not the idea!
I still like my idea. I really do think it's provocative, eye-catching, and a unique way to approach the whole "charity" thing. I wanted to do something that wasn't mushy and meant to guilt the audience into donation. That's usually the only way charity is portrayed.
Since you've made such absurdly confrontational comments to three of your critiques, I'm going to make one more point on this and then move on.
I could really care less what the concept is for your ad, whether it's trying to raise awareness & donations for African AIDS orphans or if you're trying to sell Tabasco. I could care less if your ad is promoting drug use or selling dog food or trying to save the world.
This is about critiquing your ad. Does the copy work to communicate a clear message? Do the visuals work, is the quality professional, is the typography and layout the best it can be. Is the content suitable for the client's needs? Is it a memorable ad? What advice can be offered from our experience to benefit your work?
Others may take the time and send you a mocked-up PDF on their advise. I could be more direct and say that Cooper, Copperplate, Arial and Garamond together in one ad sucks. I pointed out where there are big problems -- in concept and also design. I think it's better you figure it out on your own from there.
Your personal comments and lecture are beyond hypocritical to the point of absurdity, specially within a design forum. These critiques should be educational and insightful to the work, not an online argument about how you perceive one's social consciousness from a two or three paragraph critique of a 'just-for-fun' ad.
I know tone is difficult to assess in a written response but I was actually being genuine in my second response. I am sorry if it sounded facetious. I was actually thanking you for your critique (especially the second, more in depth one).
I only responded with a "personal" vibe because people seemed to be "personally offended".
I am sorry if I look/seem like an a-hole because I was trying to explain myself.
Sorry again (and sorry to the forum for having a long , drawn-out discussion with one person).
The last post, in my opinion is the most affluent to the piece in which feedback was *asked for*. Everyone continues to give great advice (please leave moral and personal views of out critique unless asked for too...) I also agree with garyW about the typography. Like i said first, the whitespacing is good id play around with it a little. As far as your targets, 18-30 year olds are far from being considered as children as you mentioned delectably towards gary anyhow. I think the message is unclear because the motive for the concept is also unclear. I think you are creatively sound and judging by your responses to everyone, you also have a keen sense for philisophical asset, inherited by your passion, and extruded unto your audience as well. Id have to say that graphically, the ad is weak, copywriting is also weak and your layout is good. Please lets remember to keep in mind that people 18-30 (didnt even describe male or female) and the sophistication of your ad incinuates nothing that is relative to a child* per se. The awareness is a guestimate, so overall, gary in my opinion had the best advice ultimately. Jazper always gives good advice with specifics too, hats off*
Right. After that lot I'm not going to get into the politics of this piece, but will say just a couple of things on the design.
If it's not about adopting, then why does it say "Adopt" in large type? It shouldn't as this is misleading and misinformation. Find different wording to get the message across.
The "Save The Children" and logo (which seems to be what it's actually about) should be full width across the bottom.
Oh and one more thing - the small text is too small, it obviously contains something you feel is worth mentioning but if I can't read it at this size then it may as well not be there. To be honest I don't think you need it if your message is about awareness, the image of the black baby and the Save The Children logo is enough, you don't even need the big text (in fact probably better without it).
Ivan, good question...what IF a black person reads my ad? Well, I wouldn't have felt comfortable making this ad if i wasn't comfortable with my own relationships in my own life.
I have many, many black friends. I have played keyboards for R. Kelly, Mos Def, Twista, and Kanye West. I am a resident of super-diverse Chicago and I am a professional jazz pianist when I'm not working on my portfolio. I am myself a minority and NOT WHITE.
I HAVE SHOWN THIS AD TO ABOUT 7 BLACK FRIENDS OF MINE AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. (check out www.zzaje.net to see who I'm talking about). Of course, we were stoned at the time so.....Nevertheless, nobody took offense. The only people that took offense were white people!! I admit that some of my white friends thought this ad "wouldn't go over well."
I find it extremely interesting that white people seem to be more sensitive about racially charged material than black people (at least in my recent experience). I appreciate everybody's comments (i really do, gary) and maybe we all learned something??? I certainly have.
Obviously, this piece won't be going into my portfolio (i never intended it to be). But it definitely is a conversation piece!! I think we broke the creativebit.org record for most comments!?!
cleanliness
I like the ads white spacing. I don't like the term upset. Its not positive in any shape or fashion except if the client was in the entertainment industry. There are no details in which this ad was conceived either. Where will it be displayed? Why is Save the childrens mark hidden in a paragraph of words 5% of people will read?
Its a decent start. Leave the in-laws out of this ;)
type face
The idea is great but i could think of some improvements. Personally I don't like the font of the "cut along" part. Also the text in the black box seems a bit blurry but that could also be the JPG compression. You could try the same ad but the header and the pic some higher. Than use the lower 1/6th on the full width for what is now in the black box. The black box refers too much to an anti smoke campaign to me like the way it is now. I tried something here:
www.leunk.com/leunk/example.pdf
10 secs work, default fonts. I think that to resemble the innocent of the childs i would use gray shades and clear fonts.
If i look on the website i see a different corperate image than your poster. Perhaps you could use the red blocks? Good luck!
Know your audience
I'll give you credit for the use of white space and the provocative approach but honestly, the concept is dramatically flawed.
"Upset your grandparents" — Are you are implying that a black baby would offend your GP's traditional values; that is to say that they are Racist! Oh no wait, you don't actually have to adopt the baby to upset them. You can just " Keep a picture in your wallet".
As a parent of two (white) kids I have to say you are missing the point. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. interview some parent that are attempting to adopt. Follow them through the struggle of the interview process. Listen to their stories of traveling abroad to meet their child for the first time. Of holding their new baby. Making a new family.
This isn't about 'upsetting'. This is about the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate reward.
This is messed up on so many levels.
Content: The premise of this ad is that black African babies aren't being adopted because of racism. Stand up (& be politically incorrect) to your parent's racism. The statement is African babies aren't being adopted because your culture says racism is politically correct.
Since when does this type of negative stereotyping promote a positive and loving action toward adopting a child or soliciting a donation?
Offend and insult is suppose to promote a charitable response?
This kind of promotion would do much more harm than good to Save The Children.
Graphics: Uninspired, no balance, awkward placement of text. The primary 'call to action' -- the website info -- is buried and is pushed off the page. Four different typefaces in this one ad?
Offensive
This ad is quite offensive to me. I would never consider using this orginzation and I would consider adoption. This ad is telling me that it's not about the child. Not about the plight they are in and how I could help to make a better life. It is telling me how I could screw with my obviously racist family. And maybe grandpa will even end up in the hospital! Whoopee!
The design is not bad overall. Type needs a lot of work and I would justify the head left to give it a side-to-side balance. But the design is the least of your concerns. Scratch the copy and start over.
Jennifer
WOW.
First, let me start by saying that stirring this type of emotion motivates me (even if all these negative emotions aren't good for this particular client).
Second, let me thank Jazzper for his insight...Thanks, Jazzper.
Third, let me address Franclin and Gary W who think this ad is for actually adopting a baby...it's not. It's for sponsoring a baby, I believe the body copy is quite clear on that.
Fourth, for everybody who thought this was offensive, i think you are being a little too sensitive. THe whole point of this ad was to be offensive and then exhibit an international phenomena that actually (and tangibly) IS a thousand-times more offensive. Perhaps this ad is a little too post-modern: If this ad somehow offends you (Gary, Jennifer), think how trivial your sensitivity is compared to the starving, orphaned babies in Africa. You concentrated too much on politically incorrectness instead of the plight of the under-privileged...YOU CARRIED OUT THE SAME IGNORANCE AS THE REST OF THE WORLD WHEN YOU IGNORED THE KIDS BECAUSE EXPRESSING YOUR IDEA OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
But I don't blame you. Perhaps if I had made the copy bigger....
As for you Gary, "Know your audience"...this ad is meant for young people (18-30) who have never donated anything before. I know it's trite but a photograph of a baby you are sponsoring IS a motivating factor. Hasn't anybody been over to a friend's house and seen a photo of an African or South American child on the fridge before? That's what white people that sponsor kids do....display the photo. Gary, show the ad to your "two white kids" and see what they think...they are probably more the desired demographic and might approach the ad more objectively (they might even think it's funny...GASP!)
Again, could I be way wrong and offend people even more with this explanation? Perhaps. But not as offensive as the international abandonment of 12 million African children orphaned by AIDS.
KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING...I AM INTERESTED TO SEE WHAT OTHERS THINK
reply
First, I think much of what you just replied to is directed to Franclin's comments, not what I said.
Read what I said, I specifically addressed your headline statement and the purpose you intended -- charitable donations.
Also, I'm not personally offended, but my critique stated clearly that you were offending the people you're asking to assist the Charity.
In reply, what I concentrated on is the lack of clear communication in your ad. You pull out a red herring of cultural racism, but fail to communicate the need for supporting the Charity to help AIDS orphans.
FWIW, when you reply to my objective critique with "YOU CARRIED OUT THE SAME IGNORANCE..." , well then don't ask for a critique if you feel your work is so precious. As a professional I'll respect your opinion on design and concept, but if you somehow feel your message is being misunderstood by all that replied here, don't bother to enlighten us. The point is, please understand, that the ad you presented here does not clearly communicate what you are so passionate about. As a critique board, that's what I'm reading that other's agree with also.
If this is an actual job for Save The Children, please let us know how your client responds to this. If this is a student/portfolio piece, don't you think four of five responses here are an indication how sucessful this version of your 'post-modern' work communicates and how a potential client may view it?
YES GARY!!
That's a valuable critique, man. Thanks.
Simply, my message didn't get through! I just thought when people said "I was offended" they were ignoring the ad as a whole.
However, now I know that the execution of my ad is offensive...maybe not the idea!
I still like my idea. I really do think it's provocative, eye-catching, and a unique way to approach the whole "charity" thing. I wanted to do something that wasn't mushy and meant to guilt the audience into donation. That's usually the only way charity is portrayed.
Anyway, I'll keep working.
Reply (part 2)
Since you've made such absurdly confrontational comments to three of your critiques, I'm going to make one more point on this and then move on.
I could really care less what the concept is for your ad, whether it's trying to raise awareness & donations for African AIDS orphans or if you're trying to sell Tabasco. I could care less if your ad is promoting drug use or selling dog food or trying to save the world.
This is about critiquing your ad. Does the copy work to communicate a clear message? Do the visuals work, is the quality professional, is the typography and layout the best it can be. Is the content suitable for the client's needs? Is it a memorable ad? What advice can be offered from our experience to benefit your work?
Others may take the time and send you a mocked-up PDF on their advise. I could be more direct and say that Cooper, Copperplate, Arial and Garamond together in one ad sucks. I pointed out where there are big problems -- in concept and also design. I think it's better you figure it out on your own from there.
Your personal comments and lecture are beyond hypocritical to the point of absurdity, specially within a design forum. These critiques should be educational and insightful to the work, not an online argument about how you perceive one's social consciousness from a two or three paragraph critique of a 'just-for-fun' ad.
Gary...
I know tone is difficult to assess in a written response but I was actually being genuine in my second response. I am sorry if it sounded facetious. I was actually thanking you for your critique (especially the second, more in depth one).
I only responded with a "personal" vibe because people seemed to be "personally offended".
I am sorry if I look/seem like an a-hole because I was trying to explain myself.
Sorry again (and sorry to the forum for having a long , drawn-out discussion with one person).
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
The last post, in my opinion is the most affluent to the piece in which feedback was *asked for*. Everyone continues to give great advice (please leave moral and personal views of out critique unless asked for too...) I also agree with garyW about the typography. Like i said first, the whitespacing is good id play around with it a little. As far as your targets, 18-30 year olds are far from being considered as children as you mentioned delectably towards gary anyhow. I think the message is unclear because the motive for the concept is also unclear. I think you are creatively sound and judging by your responses to everyone, you also have a keen sense for philisophical asset, inherited by your passion, and extruded unto your audience as well. Id have to say that graphically, the ad is weak, copywriting is also weak and your layout is good. Please lets remember to keep in mind that people 18-30 (didnt even describe male or female) and the sophistication of your ad incinuates nothing that is relative to a child* per se. The awareness is a guestimate, so overall, gary in my opinion had the best advice ultimately. Jazper always gives good advice with specifics too, hats off*
best of luck!
=)
No politics, just design
Right. After that lot I'm not going to get into the politics of this piece, but will say just a couple of things on the design.
If it's not about adopting, then why does it say "Adopt" in large type? It shouldn't as this is misleading and misinformation. Find different wording to get the message across.
The "Save The Children" and logo (which seems to be what it's actually about) should be full width across the bottom.
Oh and one more thing - the small text is too small, it obviously contains something you feel is worth mentioning but if I can't read it at this size then it may as well not be there. To be honest I don't think you need it if your message is about awareness, the image of the black baby and the Save The Children logo is enough, you don't even need the big text (in fact probably better without it).
I just can't go beyond the message
What if a black person reads your ad? Is there a black person here reading this ad? How do you feel?
Good Question, Ivan.
Ivan, good question...what IF a black person reads my ad? Well, I wouldn't have felt comfortable making this ad if i wasn't comfortable with my own relationships in my own life.
I have many, many black friends. I have played keyboards for R. Kelly, Mos Def, Twista, and Kanye West. I am a resident of super-diverse Chicago and I am a professional jazz pianist when I'm not working on my portfolio. I am myself a minority and NOT WHITE.
I HAVE SHOWN THIS AD TO ABOUT 7 BLACK FRIENDS OF MINE AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. (check out www.zzaje.net to see who I'm talking about). Of course, we were stoned at the time so.....Nevertheless, nobody took offense. The only people that took offense were white people!! I admit that some of my white friends thought this ad "wouldn't go over well."
I find it extremely interesting that white people seem to be more sensitive about racially charged material than black people (at least in my recent experience). I appreciate everybody's comments (i really do, gary) and maybe we all learned something??? I certainly have.
Obviously, this piece won't be going into my portfolio (i never intended it to be). But it definitely is a conversation piece!! I think we broke the creativebit.org record for most comments!?!