Wellness Book
RohanJM (103 points) | Wed, 2008-10-08 19:33Hi all,
Just created this sample spread for a potential client... would like feedback.
It's for a wellness book with tips from a - z... so this is for letter j. The second side of the spread i tried to use the letter j in different typefaces to create space to flow the layout.
Thanks
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Good start. The first part could use a lot of work. Your elements are all over the place, and seems gloomy. I would change the blue color also. Its a poor color choice when mixed with food.
The second part of the spread is a bit more interesting. A bit more tweaking and it should be ok. I think one of the biggest flaws on this piece is the lack of the human element. You need some images of healthy people smiling or something....
I agree with the previous poster about the elements being all over the place. You need to consider hierarchy and streamline your layout somewhat. It's feeling a bit cluttered. I think you have some interesting shapes going on the right side, but perhaps try and simplify.
I have to say it seems like you put a lot of work into this for a "potential" client.
www.alessandraandy.com
start getting rid of stuff.
ok.. i'll start...
get rid of the image or whatever effect that is applied to the "holistic approach" text...
then get rid of some of the j's. 1 will suffice.
Turn hyphenation on paragraphs off.
How many fonts are you using? Get rid of some of them.
I really don't like the blue bars with text on them.
Why is the copy so huge? Is this geared towards seniors?
bevel/emboss on little images is complete shenanigans.
too many images.
why is the wood background/nails back there? get rid of it.
hating the yellow box.
grape/honey image is awkward
no periods at end of paragraphs? why is this?
I like the header on the left side, it's nice. I like the way the blue looks up there. Images are good, just need less of them.
i'm not a big fan of hyphenation being turned off.
that said, the hyphenation here is poor. it's a combination of using the program's defaults and having line lengths that are too short. your line lengths are all shorter than 25 characters (the ones under veggy and fruit benefits aren't long enough to have two full words sometimes!). they should be between 35 and 67 (with some fudge factor based on the font you use and how much leading (more leading means you can break the rules a little more with long lines).
when you're dealing with small amounts of type like this, you need to manually work your line endings so you don't have awkward breaks (hyphenation or non-hyphenated).
you have hyphens in your text where there should be en dashes.