sweet sender is a chocolate gift online shop ........so i made a gift in the shape of computer screen or television with a chocolate brown color so i think that with these elements i have represented an online(computer screen) chocolate gift shop
and i need your critique
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You're pumping these things out left and right! Are you the $14 guy?
I see an interesting and quirky idea that's not working. You have the computer, you have the brown color, you have the gift wrapping, I could live with the fonts (with a little work)... so what's missing? The box/gift/wrapping doesn't read "chocolate" to me. It reads "tv wrapped in brown paper".
Keep working on it.*
*Unless you're only getting $14 for it. In that case, just email it to them as is with the invoice.
Agree with Art D. Rector
With don't you try something mixing the texture of chocolate and an element referring to the web, or the online sale, or to the word "sender" ?
Try something more simple, go straight to the point !
And to my point of view, the font should be more "readable".
That's all !
And sorry for my english, I'm french !
It's more like a television than a computer. I thought it was an electronics shop. Even if you make it look like a computer, I don't think the idea will work. It will be understood as giving a computer monitor as a gift, there's nothing to do with chocolate.
I like the crafting of the symbol, and the idea behind it.
Perhaps it needs to relate more to chocolate somehow, maybe adding little chocolate peices in the front, or on the screen in an aesthetically pleasing way. I don't think the cord is nescessary and it bugs me.
The type isn't working at all for me....
The byline is unreadable with that typeface—
Just play around, i'm sure you will get there!
Ricky Sam
www.rickysam.com
All text is spelled out on chocolate keyboard.
"Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised." - James Thurber
Fail. Sorry. All you've got here is a brown 60's-era television set, not a computer monitor. Why should I automatically think of ordering chocolates online from this? Please, think.
Mara